On building a relationship network to enhance influence

In the last post, we saw how to influence people without formal authority. In this post, we will see how to build high-quality relationships, that help enhance your influence.

Why are relationships important?

• Org charts only explain part of the organizational network, and the interactions that happen. 
• Controlling for performance ratings, rank, tenure, IQ, grades, school etc., the position in the organizational network predicts promotion, salary, important areas of responsibility, informal influence and power. 

What exactly is a relationship?

• Social exchange of resources/support etc. define a relationship
• Offer something to people to "earn" a network
• What are some categories of resources/support? 
• Task-related currencies
• Resources: Budget, space, personnel, information
• Cooperation: Expediting requests, approvals etc. 
• Relationship-related currencies
• Being a friend, and giving a sense of belonging
• Listening to concerns and issues 
• Providing political/emotional support 
• Position-related currencies
• Advancement and visibility: Opportunity to present to senior management
• Reputation: endorsements
• Social capital: introducing to network
• Person-related currencies
• Providing opportunities for learning: recommending a course, book etc.
• Providing self-esteem or self-actualization: gratitude, appreciation, compliments etc. 
• Use verbal framing to call out the favor you have done (there is no dollar value here!)
• Invest in a relationship before calling favors: reciprocity vs quid-pro-quo

How good is your current network?

• Power audit: Identify the 10 most valuable contacts in your current network
• Rate your dependence on them from 0-10, and their dependence on you as well
• The most fruitful relationships are those where the mutual dependence is high
• When your dependence is high, you could be taken advantage of 
• When someone's dependence on you is high, you could leverage that advantage
• Clear moral reasons not to do so 
• Socio-economically as well, when abuse of a relationship happens, people disengage (find alternatives to replace you etc.) until no more value can be extracted. 
• Look to collaborate, co-create value

What position in the relationship network is beneficial?

• "Hit by the bus" test. If you are removed from the network, would the network be able to sustain itself?
• The network depends on you for information, advice, expertise, gossip etc. 

How to cultivate a high-quality network?

• Engage with people outside the regular circle; broaden your network (typically, people only interact within the same team, physical space, building etc.)
• Have lunch once a week with someone you do not know
• Join a professional association, sports club etc. to build out your network
• Volunteer for a non-profit, for organizing a conference etc.